My big brother left home when I was very young.

After finishing school, he left to find a job in Bangkok. He found work at a factory. He fell in love with a lady who worked there. Later he married her and had two babies.

I rarely saw them because mother did not take me to visit them.

The first time I came to Bangkok, it was to see my big brother. My mother and I travelled from the Sisaket station to Bangkok by train. The journey took almost ten hours.

We bought third class tickets for the train. Sometimes the seats were full and we had to sit on the floor. It was very hot and crowded with people selling things all the time. The train stopped at every station. My mother held onto me all the way.

When we got to Bangkok the first time, we took a tuk tuk to my brother’s place. He and his wife lived in a small room at the factory. Not long afterwards they quit their jobs and came home to stay with us.

For a few months, they stayed in our house. Then they moved to grandma’s farm and worked in her big rice fields. (Actually they didn’t like my father.)

He and his family lived with grandma for two years, then returned to work at the same factory in Bangkok.

They worked there for thirty years. Then one day his wife found another man.

The family was broken. He got a divorce and gave the house to the wife and children. He quit his job and had nowhere to go. He felt very bad and decided to go home.

At the train station a stranger came up and offered him a job on a boat. He worked there for a long time. But he never got paid! This was not legal.

The police were looking for boats like these.They took my brother off the boat and arrested the captain.

After that my family lost contact with him — for four years. Now he lives in Lampang Province. I saw him last year. Me and my brother are not close. However, he is a good person.

My father was born into a middle class family and he lived in a village near my mother. He was the eldest son. He had one brother and one sister.

My father was a Thai boxer. He boxed in different provinces and also in neighboring countries. Every time he traveled he was gone for two or three months or more.

While my father was away my mother stayed home, took care of the baby, and worked.

My father knew many people when he was a boxer. Some liked him, but some did not.

One day he was stabbed in the stomach. After that, my father couldn’t go back to boxing, and could not do hard work.

He started drinking more than before.

He was also a playboy. One time he took a lady home with him and told my mother this was his other wife. My mother was deeply hurt. She didn’t accept them being together, so he and the lady left. He did not come back home for a couple of months.

Father had many ladies because he was charming and seemed like a nice man. After he won a fight, he would throw a celebration party. He was a good fighter and loved the sport.

My father was very nice and kind to people, but not to my family. He was ok when he did not drink, but when he drank he became another person.

When he got drunk, I had to hide or run away from him.

I sometimes would climb up a tamarind tree, because I knew he could never get me.

There was never any peace in our family.

It was often me and mom crying together. And I looked up at the sky and asked, “Why do I have a father like him?” and many more questions. I never got an answer.

I would dream of getting a higher education so I could get a good job and save money to buy a house. Get my mom out of there.

I liked to go into the forest with my mom, where it was quiet and peaceful, to get away from my father.

But I have forgiven my Father. I still love him.

This is my life story.

I am from Sisuket, near the Cambodian border. This is in the northeast part of Thailand, known as the Isaan region. The area has many plateaus and mountains. There are twenty provinces where people speak the Isaan language

I was born into a poor family. I had two brothers and two sisters.

My mother got married to my father when she was 14 years old and dad was 19.

This marriage happened because grandma thought my father was a good man and could make her daughter happy. My mother obeyed.

She became a very good mother. She took good care of her babies and was the leader of our family. But her life was very hard. She worked like a man. I never saw her happy.

Everyday we had to find something to eat. We did not have money to buy food. Sometimes we went into the forest to find mushrooms, or anything else we could eat.

I didn’t have time to play like other children.

When the planting season came, I helped my mother grow rice. I had to work in the sun all day. From our home to the rice field, it was 5 kilometers.

Mother had to wake up early every day — me too. We had to walk all the way there.

Only my mother and I worked because most of the time my father was drunk. When he drank, we had problems — he liked to hurt my mother and me.

I hated him. When he beat me, my mother always tried to protect me.

Often, my mother took me to stay at grandma’s because my father had kicked us out of the house. I was always happy to see grandma and my cousin. I could play with him.

My grandmother lived in another town. She had four children: three girls and one boy. My mother was the eldest child. One grandson lived with her. She took care of him while his mother worked in Bangkok and sent money home.

Grandma had a big rice field. When we left her place, she always gave us two large bags of rice. We were always sad to leave.

We travelled between our house and grandma’s by bus. The journey took almost all day.

But I liked riding the bus. We would get on and try to find two empty seats so we could sit together. If there was time, my mother would go back out to buy some water and boiled eggs for us to eat. She knew I liked eggs — and sitting by the window!

When we got back home, my father would be standing there waiting for us. He smiled and seemed to be happy to see us. But after a few days, he started drinking again.

Our house had two floors and was built from wood. We lived on the second floor and had two buffaloes on the first floor.

Every morning we would take the animals out of the house. Then we had to find a place where there was a lot of grass and a tree. We tied the buffaloes to the tree so they could feed. We gave them water at midday, and took them back home in the evening.

I liked my buffaloes. Sometimes they let me ride one of them, but my mother always warned me to be careful.

Because our family was poor, everyone had to leave home after they finished school and find a job, just like me. My big brother and big sister moved to Bangkok.

My younger sister was nice and kind. She was married and her family lived in the same village as us.

After she had her first baby, her husband changed. He began sleeping with other ladies and not taking care of his family. He broke my sister’s heart.

So she divorced him.

Later, she met another man and they decided to live together. He was very good to my sister, but they were poor and had to work hard.

She had three children with him.

I remember he was good-hearted and helped me when I had a problem. He died when I was fifteen.

My younger brother was also good-hearted and a very quiet person. He was six years older than me. He protected me at school when another friend bullied me.

After he finished school he left home, and got a job in Bangkok.

He is still single.