Nov 8, 2010

For those who have not been following my story, Oiy (a funny, attractive Thai bar girl) was my very first fling when I visited “The Kingdom” back in 2008. Though things did not work out, she continued to stay in touch with annual email greetings, which were actually pleas for money. Her most recent solicitation was three months ago. Since I was then in the middle of my Thailand preparations, I (wisely) decided to ignore it and wait until I’d made the Big Move before contacting her. (See Oiy Redux for more details.)

I waited about ten days after arriving here — time enough for the jet lag to recede and my thinking to clear — before emailing Oiy. In addition to the usual greetings, I shared the joyous news that I was now in Thailand! She quickly and happily responded, asking how soon we could get together and hoping to hear from me again. I dutifully emailed back the next day, explaining I was living in Pattaya but sidestepping any meetings by asking how her family was.

Apparently, that lack of enthusiasm has dampened her interest as I have not heard back in over a week.

What happened? I’m guessing, to demonstrate my ardor, I was supposed to have suggested an immediate rendezvous. Perhaps invited her down from Khon Kaen where she’s at present living with her family. (An eight hour bus ride.)  But I wasn’t ready for that. Instead, I preferred to find out more about her and her family first via email exchanges (Google now has a translation option that kinda works) before any rolls in the hay. It’s a cautious, prudent approach to a woman I hardly know.

But how strange that Oiy, after diligently remembering me year after year (with money admittedly as her motivation) now apparently gives up after I, at long last, move to her country and get in touch. There was much I liked about the woman and being my “first”, she has a place in my heart. I’m now confused and slightly hurt by her silence after that initial message. (Not that I really have any grounds to complain, considering the way I ignored her emails over the past two years.) Think I’ll wait a while longer for a response, being by no means starved for female company.

A week later…
My patience having finally run out, the message yesterday morning to my beloved was brief and to the point. I told her I had waited over two weeks for an email and had now found another girlfriend. All quite true, I might add.

There probably was no real need to contact her, it being clear she wasn’t exactly devastated by not getting to see me. However, I wanted to assert a measure of control by “shutting the door” so she’d be less inclined to pester me again for money. Also, I must confess, I’m angry with her and genuinely savored the (to me) just-desserts aspect of my goodbye communique: So, you want so much to be my girlfriend and have me respond to your emails, only to then, after I make the effort, go and forget about me? Well, I have news for you, honey: You’ve been replaced!  (And how different this all is from Seattle, where it often seemed to me the women were the ones who wielded the power, particularly on match.com. Here I appear to be holding the cards for a change.)

I would never hear from Oiy again.

• Moving To Siam
• Settling In